~REST IN PEACE TERRI~

March 31, 2005

A day we will never forget

The worst has happened...

The murder of Terri has been accomplished.

I am heartsick. A terrible, horrifying atrocity has occured! I have no faith in the legal system, the so-called 'justice system' when it becomes legal to kill an innocent person.. Terri's life MUST NOT be allowed to have ended in vain! This is by no means over! We must not allow our own rights to be taken away and infringed upon! There is much at stake for all of us, as any one of us could face something just like Terri and her family have!

For this moment, I can only grieve and hurt for Terri and her family...and find some comfort in knowing that she is no longer in Michael's care, but rather, in God's hands. My heart aches for her family...I pray they will find comfort and peace knowing that Terri is with God.

Rest in Peace Terri

You Will Never Be Forgotten

THERE'S STILL HOPE! PLEASE PRAY YOUR HEARTS OUT FOR TERRI! REMEMBER...WITH GOD, OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!! KEEP THE FAITH!

TERRI, WE ARE IN YOUR CORNER....DON'T LOSE HEART!!! GOD IS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

New hope for Terri

Yahoo! News - Court to Weigh Schiavo Emergency Motion

Yahoo! News - Court to Weigh Schiavo Emergency Motion: "PINELLAS PARK, Fla. - A federal appeals court agreed to consider an emergency bid by Terri Schiavo's parents for a new hearing on whether to reconnect her feeding tube, raising their fading hopes of keeping the severely brain-damaged woman alive. "

Please don't give up on Terri! Keep praying and fighting for her right to LIVE!
Terri's Right-to-Live Grassroots Coverage

I have recently seen some blogs that are calling themselves "Terri Schiavo Blog" and they have written some of the vilest, most depraved filth I have ever been unfortunate witness to. I do not understand how anyone could sink to such levels and I hope and pray they are purged from sight. Terri and her family are going through hell and it is so horribly cruel and disrespectful, to say the least, that I am just sickened and saddened by it.

There are many people, including the site I've linked here, http://www.fromtheoldschool.com/socialstudies/terri/terrisring.htm

who are fighting fervently to help SAVE Terri's life! I hope you'll join in the fight for Terri....any one of us could someday be in the position Terri is in now...Terri needs our voices to be heard if her life is to be spared. Be Terri's voice! Pray, make phone calls, write letters and emails! Terri's life depends on it and ours may someday as well!

Fight4Terri

Read this blog by Cheryl Ford R.N.....This woman really knows the score and has a lot to say about the Terri Schiavo case....I agree, this is murder!!!!! I cannot comprehend that it is being allowed to happen!!! I just can't understand! Whether someone is PVS or not, (which Terri is NOT) should not even enter into the equasion...bottom line is NO ONE has the right to MURDER!!! Starving and dehydrating a living human being with a soul that God imparted them is slow, cruel, evil torture. I pray God spares Terri....it's all I have thought of throughout each day and have kept vigil with Terri and her family in my heart as many others have done...DO read Cheryl Fords blog!Fight4Terri She writes so eloquently and with such feeling....

We are praying Terri....

God is with you and your family.

Terri Schindler-Schiavo

KEEP PRAYING FOR TERRI....AND CHECK THIS OUT! LOTS OF INFORMATION ON TERRI'S CASE...
Terri Schindler-Schiavo

Terri's Right-to-Live Grassroots Coverage

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING AND FIGHTING FOR TERRI...SHE NEEDS ALL OF US TO BE HER VOICE...DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!! WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! PRAY FOR HEALING FOR TERRI...AND PRAY FOR FAITH...GOD IS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TERRI!!

Terri's Right-to-Live Grassroots Coverage

PRAY FERVENTLY FOR TERRI PLEASE!!!!!

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR TERRI AND HER FAMILY! JUST THINK IF IT WERE YOU LYING THERE...WOULDN'T YOU WANT SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE, FIGHTING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, WITH YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART? PLEASE PLEASE HELP SPARE TERRI'S LIFE!!!

Where Will This End?

CHECK OUT THIS BLOG FOR MORE INFO ON TERRI...AND LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HER...GOD IS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TERRI
Where Will This End?

Life Matters!

LIFE

DOES INDEED MATTER AND WHAT IS BEING DONE TO TERRI IS A HORRIBLE ATROCITY!!! PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR TERRI AND HER FAMILY.I RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING BLOG...
Life Matters!
WE LOVE YOU TERRI AND WE'RE NOT GIVING UP...

GOD IS WITH YOU

~APPALLED!!!~

I am just appalled...I was reading thru different message boards regarding Terri Schiavo's horrible situation...and I could not believe the anger, rage, brutality, hatred, cruelty directed at the Schindler family, Terri's family...They are being lambasted and attacked, raged against....scorned, mocked, ridiculed, all manner of vile remarks...There are people saying her parents should be ashamed or put in jail, that they care nothing about Terri's dignity, or her "right" to die....

These people really seem to believe that they have the right to order someone's death...they've made comments that Terri's brain is mush, and terrible mocking and sarcastic remarks that show just how cruel and heartless they are.

It frightens me to see this on a huge scale....

Where is goodness and compassion? Concern for our fellow man?

Surely I am not seeing it out in cyber land, at least not on the message boards and polls, public opinions and tallys....

Terri and her family have been thru, are going thru hell and all these people can find to do is mock and ridicule them, screaming for Terri's death....

This world has become even more hateful than I realized and sick enough to kick someone when they're down....then join in as a collective group and beat the bloody hell out of their unwitting victim...an innocent bystander.

There is rage.....prejudice....hatred....evil....

I wish that somehow, Terri's family, her Mom and Dad, her siblings, could have escaped Michael's clutches long ago and departed for a secret place to live as long as God allowed, in peace.

RightMarch.com - Help Save Terri Schiavo!

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO IMMEDIATELY TO HELP TERRI!
RightMarch.com - Help Save Terri Schiavo!

I have truly lost faith in humanity....

As I watch the media and keep private vigil for the Schindler family...

As I wonder what sort of true religion any of these people have that could so callously, coldly, brutally decide Terri should die....

What the hell difference does it make if she is a vegetable (which she's NOT) That should not be an issue at all!

TERRI IS A HUMAN BEING WITH A SOUL! GOD CREATED HER, HE GAVE HER LIFE AND ONLY HE HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE HER LIFE!!!!!!

It has come down to that suffering family grasping for any snippet of information they could use to plead for Terri's life...to prolong it until other issues have been resolved...What is the harm in allowing her to live?

WHY can't Michael Schiavo leave her alone and allow her true blood family to have guardianship? He claims he's not in it for the money...(after receiving a huge settlement he discontinued Terri's help, therapy, mouth feedings), He claims he's "in love" with his wife...(He has long since formed a new family and has children now) He claims Terri would not have wanted to live this way (She tried to communicate that she wanted to live, to her lawyer and the guards placed outside Terri's door made the Lawyer leave) Michael CLAIMS he wanted Terri to improve, yet he STOPPED all hertherapy, would not allow tests to be run, placed her in isolation and told nurses to stop feeding Terri orally and to insert a feeding tube, when she had been able to swallow pudding, jello and milkshakes!) Anyone who reads,will find that the more stimulation this type of brain damaged person receives, the more their brains activate and they begin to improve. The more they are isolated, the more their brains begin to atrophy and their inner spirit diminishes. Teri's hands have atrophied purely as a result of DISUSE and lack of therapy! Again, Michaels doing. Think about the timeline: Just exactly when did Michael begin to decide that Terri no longer should be allowed to live? Was it when he began cohabiting with his new woman and decided to have kids? Was it when Terri showed signs of improvement and could possibly have implicated Michael in some abuses aimed at her? Was it when new evidence emerged that perhaps Terri's collapse had been caused by attempted strangulation?

http://libertytothecaptives.net/terri_schiavo_cognitively_able.html

Why did he wait 7 years to "suddenly" remember that Terri allegedly said she'd not wish to live this way? Why are her civil rights being violated? Why is Michael so eager to have her dead? Why are her parents wishes ignored? Why are there so many who think she is worthless because she is brain damaged and wish her to be unplugged? How can people who call themselves Christians support this legal killing? How can anyone assume Terri's death will be peaceful as she is starved and dehydrated to death?

http://www.fromtheoldschool.com/socialstudies/terri/exit.htm

How can so many Judges and senators vote against Terri, snuffing out her life, in light of possible new evidence she may have been an unwitting victim?

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43383

http://ohhowilovejesus.com/2005/03/20/michael-schiavo-tells-larry-king-he-did-not-know-terris-wishes/

Why aren't her parents and family allowed to care for her? They ask nothing from Michael, only praying, hoping and wishing for their daughter, their child that they love, to LIVE! How can such an atrocity occur in modern society...the legal right to kill someone deemed worthless....This sets us up for a collective fall, as we will in future see more and more of this type case, where someone brain damaged, suffering from alzheimers or retarded is allowed to be put to death because the courts deem them to be worthless and non productive members of society. Legal killing.

http://www.blogsforterri.com/video.php

The courts have their definitions of worthy and unworthy in accordance with doctor's and scientific statements, regarding one's cognitive abilities, amount of brain damage, future prognosis and so forth....COMPLETELY FORGETTING THAT ALL HUMAN BEINGS HAVE A SOUL!

http://www.discardedlies.com/entries/2005/03/terris_true_capabilities.php

Whether they are normal, healthy people , retarded, brain damaged, mentally ill, handicapped.....

EVERYONE HAS A SOUL and THE RIGHT TO LIVE! These people who think they have the right to end someone's life, to pass judgments on another's life, who vote to pull the life support or feeding tube of any human being are commiting murder!!!!!! No matter the reasons, or motivations...whether out of compassion or hatred, the result is the same....it is still murder. Someday, these same people may face the same fate....

Can you imagine KNOWING that there were

people who were attempting to end your life....lying helplessly, you watch, unable to scream out that you're trapped within an unresponsive body ...watching as your only form of life giving nutrition is snatched from you? Spending weeks of agonizing hell, suffering convulsions, as your organs are starved of fluids....your lips and tongue, your skin itself cracking and bleeding, your agony as your internal organs scream out in pain, atrophying and shriveling...your heartbeat becoming irregular, your muscles writhing , contracting, in tetany...your eyes losing their luster as your tears dried up...your kidneys shutting down...your bowels losing their function, KNOWING ALL THE WHILE that SOMEONE YOU TRUSTED WITH YOUR LIFE IS KILLING YOU AND THE LAW ALLOWS IT!!!! If nothing else is learned from this, at least I pray that it has opened our eyes, made us aware of society's callousness regarding the infirm, made us aware of where our so-called leaders stand on these issues, made us aware of our loved one's wishes regarding their own fate, made us aware of how far society will go....made us aware that if we believe in God and His word, that NONE of us has the right to kill or decide someone's time or usefulness is over. I pray none of us ever faces this type of situation, yet, statistics show a good likelihood that many of us will. I hope and pray I will have someone beside me who believes

in God and in my right to life and will carry out those wishes....

I continue praying for you Terri....You have the right to life.

http://terrisfight.org/

VIDEOS OF TERRI http://www.blogsforterri.com/video.php

http://www.fromtheoldschool.com/socialstudies/terri/terrisring.htm

http://terrisfight.org/

http://cureltd.blogspot.com/

http://www.blogsforterri.com/

http://www.conservativealerts.com/terri-tj.htm

http://capwiz.com/sicminc/issues/alert/?alertid=7260671&type=CU

Sign the petition to impeach Greer.
Call these key Florida state senators immediately and ask them to vote to save Terri's life.

Nancy Argenziano 850-487-5017

Larcenia J. Bullard 850-487-5127

Walter Campbell, Jr. 850-487-5094

J.D. Alexander 850-487-5044

Paula Dockery 850-487-5040

Lisa Carlton 850-487-5081

Evelyn J. Lynn 850-487-5033

Burt L. Saunders 850-487-5124

Michael Bennett 850-487-5078

Dennis Jones 850-487-5065

http://www.justicecoalition.org/petition2.htm

http://www.discardedlies.com/

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43427

http://www.fromtheoldschool.com/socialstudies/terri/timeline.htm

http://www.nod.org/index.cfm?

http://libertytothecaptives.net/terri_schiavo_cognitively_able.html

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43383

http://ohhowilovejesus.com/2005/03/20/michael-schiavo-tells-larry-king-he-did-not-know-terris-wishes/

http://www.terrisfight.net/

http://www.blogsforterri.com/video.php

This is gut wrenching...
Terri's attorney tells her she will die and she attempts to scream out that she wants to LIVE!
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43383

Yahoo! News - U.S. Court Rejects Appeal Over Woman's Feeding Tube

Yahoo! News - Lawyer: Schiavo Ruling Expected Soon

Yahoo! News - Lawyer: Schiavo Ruling Expected Soon: "The appeals court didn't indicate when it might rule, but George Felos, the attorney for Terri's husband, Michael Schiavo, told the Associated Press that he expected a decision before daybreak Wednesday. "

~HELP TERRI NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE~

Call these ten Florida state senators immediately and ask them to vote to save Terri's life.\
Call these ten Senators:
Larcenia J. Bullard 850-487-5127
Walter Campbell, Jr. 850-487-5094
J.D. Alexander 850-487-5044
Nancy Argenziano 850-487-5017
Paula Dockery 850-487-5040
Lisa Carlton 850-487-5081
Evelyn J. Lynn 850-487-5033
Burt L. Saunders 850-487-5124
Michael Bennett 850-487-5078
Dennis Jones 850-487-5065

PETITION JEB BUSH
http://www.justicecoalition.org/petition2.htm

CONTACT THESE FLORIDA SENATORS
http://capwiz.com/sicminc/issues/alert/?alertid=7260671&type=CU

HELP TERRI
http://www.conservativealerts.com/terri-tj.htm

DON'T GIVE UP! WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

TERRI SCHINDLER-SCHIAVO

~WE ARE WITH YOU IN SPIRIT, TERRI~

This post below was written by a dear friend of mine...I asked her if I could post it...her words are so eloquently spoken, from her heart... as she talks about the Terri Schindler-Schiavo situation...

Patricia's Comments:

I've watched and listened to everything on and about this woman's situation I possibly could. They say she has no conscious state...whatever that means.....but, she's alive, so I know she has a soul.....and I don't believe if God wished Terry to return to Him to reclaim that soul at any point in time up until now, that there would be any doubt, that she would be gone at His will. So regardless of the medical jargon, God has kept her soul here on earth in that body. So is our consciousness essentially us......or is the soul got gave us essentially us? I don't believe either, even without some dramatic improvement that God means for her to be with Him as yet, and can't imagine Him ever wanting such an unfortunate woman to be forced to suffer such a physically painful death either. I'm sure He will take her when it is her time. Perhaps she is here just for this.....to teach us not to play God and count only on the skimpy and often later revealed, false scientific notions of the day, but to treat each other with love, patience, kindness, compassion and mercy just as we would care to be treated....I'd prefer to err on the side of life because death cannot be reversed nor can anything truly atone for the loss to their personal souls and selves of those who are a party to this cruel treatment of the weakest in our societys. Oooooops....was that a blog.....maybe......but, that's where I stand on this.
I haven't been able to stop praying, so do not worry that I could fail to continue. My heart is so moved by this situation and I believe it has struck a chord with so, so many.

Love Patricia

Dearest Terri, and The Schindler Family...We are all pulling for you, for Terri...keeping you in our fervent prayers. Some of us spending sleepless nights in fear and keeping vigil in our hearts with you. May God lift this from you and may you never again be forced to endure the hellish torture of being forced to watch helplessly as Terri's rights are ripped away. I pray God will restore Terri's feeding tube, that she will recover and be allowed to receive the therapy and testing Michael Schiavo has so cruelly withheld from her. You, her parents and siblings are her true blood family and have her very best interests at heart...I pray you may be allowed to make Terri's decisions in the future. I continue praying and hoping....along with you. May God bless you.... Love Nebula

Video of Terri Schiavo :: BlogsforTerri

Video of Terri Schiavo :: BlogsforTerri
Look at the videos...read the evidence! Terri is NOT a vegetable! No one has the right to KILL another human being...starvation and dehydration is a HORRIBLE way to die, NOT a peaceful death as some would have us think.

WorldNetDaily: Attorney: Terri cried at news

READ THESE!!!

WorldNetDaily: Attorney: Terri cried at news

http://www.conservativealerts.com/terri-tj.htm

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=35305

~THE RIGHT TO LIVE!~

I am very very disturbed about the plight of Terri Shindler-Schiavo...http://terrisfight.org/

the woman whose right to live is being taken away from her by her husbands persistant efforts to have her feeding tube pulled, depriving her of food and water NOT JUST by way of the feeding tube, but orally as well.. She collapsed in 1990 and was found by her husband, barely breathing and after resuscitation attempts were made, she suffered severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen. She was comatose and in a near vegetative stage and non-responsive. She eventually, with medical treatment, emerged from the coma and although she required a ventilator to breathe and a feeding tube, she was improving somewhat. As the years have gone by, she has become capable of swallowing, although not able to chew and eat, so still requiring a feeding tube, yet she no longer requires any breathing assistance and her general health has been fairly good. She responds to stimuli, looks around, smiles, laughs a bit and enjoys listening to music. If she had received intensive therapy she may have learned to chew, swallow, possibly speak, possibly not atrophied...yet, she is only 41 and there is still hope.

BUT FRIDAY HER HUSBAND HAD HER FEEDING ENDED TO CAUSE HER TO DIE!

http://terrisfight.org/

Terri has been without food or water since friday!

Today, President Bush signed a bill so that it may still be possible for Terri's feeding tube to be restored!

She is most definitely not a vegetable, like some are saying. I have read her medical reports, watched the videos of her with her Mother and throughout I have cried...I have felt pain for her parents and family. I think the entire situation is a nightmare. Her husband, being Terri's legal guardian has made decisions for Terri that were certainly not in her favor! After Terri's accident, her husband won a lawsuit her had initiated, claiming wrongful diagnosis, toward the doctors who had been treating Terri before her mishap. A million dollars was awarded.He was awarded 300, 000 dollars, with the remainder to go for Terri's care. As I understand it, as soon as he was awarded the settlement, all the medical care and therapy Terri had been receiving was stopped by him, and her husband began to initiate proceedings to end her life by means of starvation and dehydration.This is the third time her feeding tube has been removed...one time she was deprived of food and water for 6 days before it was reinstated! Can you imagine?! This horrifying suffering, to be directed at Terri, an innocent victim ... as she lay incapacitated and unable to speak for herself! Death row inmates face mere moments of suffering as they are executed, put to death as punishment for the heinous crimes they have committed! Yet, the type of death Michael Schiavo wishes on Terri is a brutal, miserably painful way to die. It's not enough to wish her dead, he wishes her death to be gruesome and hellish...her suffering to be endlessly long!!! Dehydration and starvation can take up to 20 days!!! Terri is in good physical health...death's sufferings will take even longer! All on an innocent woman!!!! Here> http://www.fromtheoldschool.com/socialstudies/terri/exit.htm

is how she will die if she does not receive a last-minute repreive. Why!? WHY? WHY? An innocent woman , who committed no crime, who has had all her freedom snatched away from her!!! By her husbands accounts, she is nothing but a vegetable...he claims she would not choose to live this way....but Terri is VERY MUCH ALIVE!

http://www.blogsforterri.com/

Her eyes light up as her Mother enters the room, she smiles and tries to communicate...she makes faces at her father, she listens, raptly, passionately as she hears the piano music she so loves!! These are not the actions of a vegetable! With therapy, Terri could improve, yet her husband has deprived her of it! Her loving parents have been through a 15 year hellish battle for Terri's life...her RIGHT to live! Who does her husband or anyone else think they are to decide she should die? How can those people who voted against her live with themselves...this makes them murderers too! How can any healthcare worker, whose job it is to help bring about healing and comfort, KNOWINGLY take part in the killing of a healthy woman who has the right to live?

If you have ever seen a stroke victim, whose speech or ability to walk has been affected by the stroke, you also know that people can and do bounce back...the road may be long, the results may be slow in coming, but many stroke victims fully recover and we don't kill them! Some people's ability to swallow may be compromised, causing an inability to eat, so a feeding tube is used...we don't kill them because of it! Someone breaks their neck, becoming a quadraplegic...requiring 24 hour care, breathing assistance....feeding, catheters...etc...they're not KILLED because of it! They're assisted, rehabilitated....cared for! I do not understand why some people think that if someone is mentally compromised, they don''t feel....aren't human...don't have rights.....

If that were true and decreased mental functioning were a criteria for euthanasia, Michael Schiavo had better watch his back.

What the hell gives anyone the right to decide they can end someone's life? As though Terri were an inconvenience...someone in the way of his chosen path. I even read that one of the doctors likened Terri to "A houseplant"! Can you believe that! It sickened me!

Terri is a living, breathing, feeling

HUMAN BEING!

Michael Schiavo is reported to have moved on and begun a new family, although still legally bound by marriage to Terri. He apparently will not divorce her. Michael's girlfriend might want to think long and hard about what kind of person would choose to murder an innocent, living, breathing woman he remains wed to...She might wonder what Michael would choose for HER should she meet the same sort of fate and become unable to impart her wishes. I am praying fervently that the Judge will rule in favour of Terri and her feeding tube will be returned to her...praying her family will find a way to regain control over their daughter's welfare and never face another battle over Terri's right to life. I pray for YOU Terri...that God may miraculously heal you, body and spirit.

I pray and the world prays.....

May God bless you

Terri

I am trying to come to terms with life...it's many facets...

As my body continues it's insidious assault on itself from my immune system disease, I watch in horror as the betrayal of my own shell converges upon me. I look so much different...my shape has changed...certainly these are a result of getting older, yet there are other changes that I experience and wonder if they appear only to me or if other's see them too. I'm tired, so very weary all the time...too tired to keep my blog up to date, to talk on the phone sometimes, to get anything done in my crib...I allow relationships to lapse, I feel I have nothing much to offer...I have no outside life and although I read voraciously and I am fairly intelligent, I still see the stigma that society brands us with...those of us considered to be disabled. I have heard people call someone an "invalid" and that word really rankles...I hate the connotation of "IN VALID" As in NOT valid....I am much more aware of how people are treated, especially those who are unable to function the same as mainstream society. Like, for instance, a few years ago, at Walmart, as a woman was wheeled into the store in her wheelchair, I noticed people talking over her head as though she were not there or was deaf and blind! My Grandmum was dining out with my Aunt one time and Gramma was in a wheelchair and the waitress asked my AUNT if my Grandma would like some coffee and my Aunt said "I really don't know...why don't you ASK HER she's not deaf!!!" I loved it that she spoke up like that! I'm not in a wheelchair and to look at me I don't appear to be disabled, although upon closer inspection one would notice that I am blind as a bat and must hold anything I'm inspecting right up to my face...I have an unusual gait now that I never had before and I sweat profusely from my immune system...I feel weak and achy, I get the chills a lot and my temperature gauge is wack! I have a curvature in my spine and my hair is falling out. I really loathe how my body has betrayed me. At one time, I was curvy and into the latest fashions...I would never leave the house without makeup on & hair styled and I was always active...out dancing, singing in a club, busy at my job and excited about the future. I knew I had something wrong with my immune system but I lived around it as best I could and being young I was able to bounce back much more quickly. I was always in pain and felt rotten a lot but that was actually normal to me because I'd been like that since birth. When I was in my 20's they finally had a name for it and realized it was also behind my other health woes, which were an eye disease and thyroid disorder. The older I got the more health problems popped up ... until one day I began feeling very very strange and ill, so weak and dizzy....I went all over to specialists to no avail...Then began the powerful nosebleeds, the gasping for oxygen, the inability to eat, the vomiting of blood and stomach acid...and no more bowel movements...I had become bedridden and powerless to fight it...my will was gone and I laid in my bed, in my dark room, semi awake for weeks waiting for death. Unbeknownst to me my skin had turned a sickly yellow, I had lost over 40 pounds and my hair had turned white (what there was left of it) ...One night I felt sure death was imminent and God guided my Mom to come over and she took a look at me (she had begged me to go to the doctor for weeks but I refused thinking they couldn't help me) and she said "You ARE going to the hospital NOW!" and she and my boyfriend bundled me up and helped me maneuver my way into the car and sped me off to the hospital. Once there, all hell broke loose! I was connected to oxygen, I.V.'s, blood was drawn, x-rays taken, arterial gasses, immune tests, and so on....then I was trundled off to the I.C.U. in an isolation section....to wait...Next came doctors to consult with me and I was horrified to learn they wanted me to have a bone marrow test, whereby bone marrow is extracted from the hip and tested because they feared I had leukemia...(which is what my Mom and I had also feared) After much deliberation, I decided against the bone marrow test and pleaded to wait until some of the other test results came back...The doctors agreed to allow me a short reprieve and so we continued to wait....several hours later, it appeared I had one very messed up immunesystem and my hemoglobin was less than 4!!! I should have been d.o.a. or at very least comatose! Further results showed my red blood cells were huge and very small in number and I was in liver failure! (hence the jaundice!) My spleen was enlarged and munching down on my blood cells and I had hemolytic anemia AND PERNICIOUS ANEMIA!!! Pernicious anemia was behind this!!! People like myself who suffer from IgA deficiency, one of the components of the immune system, better known as Immunoglobulin Antibody, will manifest other illness as a result. Many people are of the mistaken notion that pernicious anemia is a blood disorder, but it is NOT! It is, in fact, a disorder whereby all of one's INTRINSIC FACTOR in the gut is GONE or DESTROYED due to a number of factors, one of which can be an AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASE which is a disease whereby one's own body attacks itself! I have auto immune disease and it attacked my intrinsic factor in the gut and intrinsic factor is absolutely necessary to break down and assimilate vitamin B-12, without which, one will die. I had NO intrinsic factor, my immune system disease having destroyed it, hence the lack of B-12 and all the resultant hell! I will never get my intrinsic factor back, (the gut's enzyme necessary to absorption of B-12) however, with monthly injections of B-12, that BYPASS the gut, I can LIVE with this disease! Thank God we are in an age of high tech medicine, for had I lived in the 50's or before, no cure was available! Some people could squeeze a few years out of eating RAW liver every single day but that was the only known treatment for the disease! There are many other health problems as a result of this missing intrinsic factor, namely in the gut and bowels...I am deficient in many other nutrients, I was in a state of starvation when I arrived at the hospital and the first drug they hit me with was huge doses of solumedrol, which is a corticosteroid. It was to further weaken my immune system to get it to STOP attacking me but in the process also severely jeopardizing me, in that I could develop a secondary infection and be unable to fight it! It was touch and go for the first week with many events too numerous to mention....The solumedrol caused sleeplessness, so I was fried and hyper at the same time, I was on constant oxygen, was too weak to get up except to pee and then they were in my room every hour to draw blood and my arms turned black from the elbows down and my veins were collapsing so they installed a shunt to get ez access to one remaing good one! They injected me with ever increasing doses of B-12 and other vitamins and measured my every pit stop! I was studied by a group of student docs & nurses and I felt kinda like a side-show freak but really I didn't mind! Lol! I'm down in the books since they'd never seen anyone with that low a hemoglobin count alive before! For 2 years following my 2 weeks in hospital I struggled with regaining my strength...my legs were weak and would give out on me unexpectedly...I had chronic diarrhea...my right hand had some nerve damage...my stomach had atrophied and I could never again enjoy food like I had since it either went right through me or hurt my stomach, or puffed my gut up so much I couldn't breathe. I then became constipated and that alternated with the diarrhea. I never have a day my gut doesn't hurt. My teeth began to crack and chunks came out and they broke off at the gumline as abcesses began to plague me, since all the enamel had been eroded from the months of puking pure stomach acid. I developed hives...terrible hives that caused me to stay in my house for 2 years without leaving...it has been 6 years and they are finally abating. During that time, my body attacked my ovaries and I started the onset of premature menopause! 6 years of hell, during which I rarely left my house, had 60 or more hellacious hotflashes a day and all the other miserable symptoms of meno, magnified by my immune system and the hives! The worst, most terrifying aspect was the unpredictability of the allergic responses and many times feared I'd die when the hives would be inside my mouth and block my throat, my uvula would swell and I'd be unable to swallow, barely able to breathe! I can tell you that God was never far from my thoughts or my life...I don't know how many times I prayed fervently for God to spare me and heal me, to pull me through so I could breathe and wouldn't die, but it was daily and for years. I became allergic to more & more things....I became less active in my home, more depressed, more health issues ensued, arthritis, my eye disease, peripheral uveitis, caused secondary cataracts,which now need surgery but my body would reject the lens implants so my eye doc has found a specialist who may have some that would work, but it is a real risk... osteoporosis, fibromyalgis, more stuff too numerous to mention....more hopeless feeling and wondered and still wonder WHY why must we suffer and become ill? I know that God was with me,IS with me, I know He pulled me through, I KNOW it could have been so much worse...yet, I have no life and my hopes and dreams seem too far away to touch any longer.

At one time, I still believed in dreams...still felt that they were reachable, attainable....someday.... I'd keep telling myself. Years have passed....I am still here, yet no longer believing in dreams. The things I'd hoped to achieve can never be.

Acceptance

is a terrible burden to bear as I yearn for what could have been ...knowing what will never be.

I try to compromise in my hopes and dreams and even they, in compromise, are watered down and lack substance. I have always been the type of person to do things wholeheartedly and with fervor and anything less seems pathetic and insubstantial to me. I feel no satisfaction in my life and I have little reason to face any day with hope or tidings of joy...there is only another gray day, looming before me with time to fill.

I should be glad to be alive, having struggled back from death's door, yet in the aftermath, as day to day life kicks in....there seems only a long, dreary road ahead, with endless twists and turns and all the signs posted in some cryptic language.

PLEASE HELP!

~HELLISH INDUSTRY~

I wonder...

if people were forced to live off-the-land in the ways of old, and were forced to consider killing an innocent animal, slaughtering it and preparing it....if they'd continue to eat meat.

I'm sure there are some who would find some kind of delight in it....some who would have no qualms about snuffing out the life of an innocent living being...

I hope that most people would take a look into the eyes of the animal and see deeply into the heart and soul....

See that this animal is alive and feels....

that this creature has children to nurture and guide...

That this beautiful creature that God created has a right to live...freely and without the threat of being murdered for it's skin, it's flesh...

THE HELLISH INDUSTRY

of raising animals in deplorable conditions to turn a buck needs to be shut down and punished severely!

Why should any animal DIE to feed anyone?

Clothe anyone?

Decorate anyone with their precious fur?

Man is allowed to infringe upon an animals domain...intrude upon it's lifestyle, it's home...it's peace and freedom to hunt down and murder...Yet, an animal, forced from it's natural habitat (BY MAN) , seeking food, walks into man's environment and an A.P.B. is immediately put out and hordes of angry men with guns and murder in their hearts make a killing game of it as they stalk and kill this hungry creature...These same men pose proudly beside the corpse of the creature they have just gunned down in cold blood, laughing and jostling, feeling like heroes. It's miller time.

It makes me sick at heart to think of any animal suffering this fate! The natural habitat of wild animals is steadily being encroached upon...and soon they will have no place to go or call home...no safe harbour...

As long as people continue to purchase products made of leather, furs or eat meat, this will continue....

All too often, people are captured by the "cuteness" of an adorable animal, for instance a puppy or a kitten and will protest the use of THEIR fur or abuse...Yet there are multitudes of creatures being used for fur, being abused, being subjected to animal testing....they may not be cuddly and adorable but they are LIVING CREATURES who should be treated with respect and dignity....

NO ANIMAL SHOULD BE FORCED TO UNDERGO TESTING AND CRUEL EXPERIMENTS!

How often have you seen an ad in the paper: Kittens to give away

Ever wonder WHERE these kittens go after you give them away? How would you feel if you knew that many free pet ads are answered by scouts for LABS who want free pets for GRISLY EXPERIMENTS!

To think of a sweet, innocent kitten being TIED DOWN, TORTURED and forced to exist in horrid conditions until their usefulness was over and they were KILLED, sometimes GASSED, POISONED or ELECTROCUTED! The same goes for any animal subjected to ANIMAL TESTING! PLEASE HELP TO PUT A STOP TO IT! PROTEST, SPREAD THE WORD AND REFUSE TO SIT BY AND ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN! WRITE LETTERS! MARCH IN PROTEST! DON'T WEAR FOR! BOYCOTT PLACES WHO SELL FUR!

I have at times felt that certain organizations may be too radical in their methods to get the word out about animal abuses....I have changed my thinking on that, as I see that it takes a radical and very courageous bunch to risk so much, including going to jail, to get the attention necessary to enlighten others about what's really going on! I hope you'll check out the following links....and think about how it feels to be alive, to feel, taste, dream, touch, laugh, smell, wonder, hope....These animals being slaughtered ALL FEEL THOSE SAME THINGS!

http://www.meetyourmeat.com/

http://www.meetyourmeat.com/wycd.html

http://www.vegetarianstarterkit.com/meet.html

http://www.peta.org/

http://www.cowsarecool.com/cows.asp

HELLISH FUR INDUSTRY: DOG SUFFERING IN TRAP

PROTEST

HELLISH INDUSTRY:PIGLET IN BATTERY CAGE

HELLISH INDUSTRY: CATTLE SLAUGHTER

HELLISH INDUSTRY

~Take a Look~

Check out this blog...she writes with depth and pain, enlightenment and an eye to the future...overcoming obstacles and finding a deeper, more profound sense of herself along the way.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: paavlov's dog.

~DELUSIONS DESTINY~

I just cannot believe how many women I know who are or have been abused....

Some in subtle ways, psychologically masterminded by controlling assholes who appear to be pillars of society....

Yet behind closed doors, all hell breaks loose.

Some in very blatant ways, these so-called men making complete asses of themselves, kings of the all-out put down, constantly belittling their mates, attempting to draw everyone around them into the game they play.

I have become friends with women who hide it all quite well from the world at large (oh, isn't Marge the sweetest little thing!?) as her social niceties and pleasant demeanor hide the cold realities from all who know her...even going so far as to defend her mate when a well-meaning acquaintance suggests that perhaps her husband isn't being very nice...(as HIS mask slipped a wee bit accidentally)

Oh, poor George is...

Overworked

Under stress

Overtired

Underpaid

etcetera.....

EXCUSES EXCUSES

.....

While behind closed doors,

Poor Marge suffers the indignities the world never see's...

Sweet, church-going Marge and George and their little clutch...

Little Mary and Davy with their young, sweet, angelic faces....

With eyes that have seen too much

Marge.....

She ain't doin her kids any favours staying with an abuser

She gives little Mary and Davy the notion that it's o.k. or normal

Davy grows up and follows in George's footsteps

Mary becomes another victim...

George is allowed to continue the long family tradition and perpetuate it....

I have a friend who has tried repeatedly to extricate herself from an abusive situation....

It has been mostly verbal and mind games...

Her mate is a control freak as well.

Every time she leaves or tries to leave, her mate uses a different ploy to win her back...

so far, she has continued to fall for it.

She has spent many nights at my house, talking with me about it, making plans, building up for a complete split, only to cave and go back to him because he has become a master at becoming whatever it is he thinks she wants him to be for that vulnerable moment when she has an infinitesimally tiny doubt...He senses it, capitalizes on it, jumps in for the kill...and bags her once again.

This woman seems to live her life guided totally by her emotions rather than using her head. She will never succeed in freeing herself from him until she realizes that she has become unwittingly brainwashed....

She needs to be free of his influence long enough for the de-programming to take effect....once she has been away from him long enough she will begin to rebuild her self esteem and gain some perspective...

He'll change, she declared...I just know he will....I KNOW him....I've been with him so long...He doesn't MEAN to do it...He feels really really really bad.....

I BEG her to reconsider...Please PLEASE don't go back to him....at least give it a while....Please!!!!!!!!!!

She never gives it half a chance...

.and he comes to get her, smiling warmly, almost shyly, with this sad sort of hangdog look...quick to hold the door, instantly ready to be contrite, agreeing to anything, falling all over himself with apologies, carrying a bundle of half wilted flowers,so pathetic looking he knows she will feel sad and love him more... helping her on with her coat...guiding her elbow as they walk out the door...

her smile wistful and trembly....her eyes hopeful and vulnerable...

As he glances back at me in triumph