~DELUSIONS DESTINY~

I just cannot believe how many women I know who are or have been abused....

Some in subtle ways, psychologically masterminded by controlling assholes who appear to be pillars of society....

Yet behind closed doors, all hell breaks loose.

Some in very blatant ways, these so-called men making complete asses of themselves, kings of the all-out put down, constantly belittling their mates, attempting to draw everyone around them into the game they play.

I have become friends with women who hide it all quite well from the world at large (oh, isn't Marge the sweetest little thing!?) as her social niceties and pleasant demeanor hide the cold realities from all who know her...even going so far as to defend her mate when a well-meaning acquaintance suggests that perhaps her husband isn't being very nice...(as HIS mask slipped a wee bit accidentally)

Oh, poor George is...

Overworked

Under stress

Overtired

Underpaid

etcetera.....

EXCUSES EXCUSES

.....

While behind closed doors,

Poor Marge suffers the indignities the world never see's...

Sweet, church-going Marge and George and their little clutch...

Little Mary and Davy with their young, sweet, angelic faces....

With eyes that have seen too much

Marge.....

She ain't doin her kids any favours staying with an abuser

She gives little Mary and Davy the notion that it's o.k. or normal

Davy grows up and follows in George's footsteps

Mary becomes another victim...

George is allowed to continue the long family tradition and perpetuate it....

I have a friend who has tried repeatedly to extricate herself from an abusive situation....

It has been mostly verbal and mind games...

Her mate is a control freak as well.

Every time she leaves or tries to leave, her mate uses a different ploy to win her back...

so far, she has continued to fall for it.

She has spent many nights at my house, talking with me about it, making plans, building up for a complete split, only to cave and go back to him because he has become a master at becoming whatever it is he thinks she wants him to be for that vulnerable moment when she has an infinitesimally tiny doubt...He senses it, capitalizes on it, jumps in for the kill...and bags her once again.

This woman seems to live her life guided totally by her emotions rather than using her head. She will never succeed in freeing herself from him until she realizes that she has become unwittingly brainwashed....

She needs to be free of his influence long enough for the de-programming to take effect....once she has been away from him long enough she will begin to rebuild her self esteem and gain some perspective...

He'll change, she declared...I just know he will....I KNOW him....I've been with him so long...He doesn't MEAN to do it...He feels really really really bad.....

I BEG her to reconsider...Please PLEASE don't go back to him....at least give it a while....Please!!!!!!!!!!

She never gives it half a chance...

.and he comes to get her, smiling warmly, almost shyly, with this sad sort of hangdog look...quick to hold the door, instantly ready to be contrite, agreeing to anything, falling all over himself with apologies, carrying a bundle of half wilted flowers,so pathetic looking he knows she will feel sad and love him more... helping her on with her coat...guiding her elbow as they walk out the door...

her smile wistful and trembly....her eyes hopeful and vulnerable...

As he glances back at me in triumph