~MONDAY MORNIN COMIN DOWN~

MONDAY is on the way...weekends are interminably boring when you're stuck inside...alone! I DO like my solitude but this is ridiculous! Lol! Thank God for my 2 fur kids who keep me great company and they really have me on my toes...never a dull moment when they're awake...but they're napping about 75% of the time! Lolol!!! Oh I love cats!! I love dogs too & wish I could have one but since I'm an apartmeent dweller I feel it is verry unfair to a dog to be forced into such tiny confines...dogs need to roam and have access to trees! Lol! I have been blessed to be owned by a few dogs in my day and they are too good for humans...in a dangerous situation, a dog will give their life for us! A cat will split & say it's every cat for themselves! Lol! Call a dog, they hurry to inquire as to your wishes...a cat will say "send me a memo and I MAY get back to you" ...So anyway, I make the best the solitude and today I worked hard at cleaning my crib and did laundry...all those crappy domestik goddess thingz! LOl! I ordered a pizza from Dominos and after all the work I did, I'm tired & hurtin...but that's life! Lol! I wonder how many other multitudes in the world also suffer from immune system diseases?!? I really have no friends that do, nor do I get out so there's really no opportunity to meet up with any, but I'd like to...very much. It would be so great to actually know someone who goes thru the same crap as I do...It's very hard to keep from feeling conspicuous or to keep from feeling inferior when one is so different...I must remind myself constantly that I didn't choose this and it's not my fault...but still it is easy to feel like I am less-than...It also infringes on every single aspect of life, from the simplest things to the complex...It affects my family, relationships, pets...everything...I'm not complaining, just statin a fact. I wrote a history in one of my groups about my health, which we were all asked to do so we could share and compare notes. Later, after re-reading it I was very upset, even while writing it because it sucked to put it all down in black & white and face it all head on...I read every one elses as well and none of us faced the same medical problems, but I thought about how it would be to face any of their various maladies and it must be hell. I felt very compassionate and empathetic...I saw close up the many types of sufferings and although I've never thought that it was just me suffering, still, it made me stop and think how very self absorbed we become when we are ill and our world becomes very small...I feel it is important to try to broaden our horizons as much as possible. Because I am visually impaired as well, that is really limiting...I used to drive and when my vision made it impossible it hurt so much,. mainly because I felt another of my freedoms, my independence slipping away. When one of my Grandpas lost his license because he could no longer see well enough to drive, he was infuriated! It never occured to him that I was very young and lost mine...he was so angry he would drive anyway! Lol! Even just to the mailbox to show he could! Lol! I totally understood how he felt, but I would not WANT to drive if I cannot see properly! I knew it would endanger other peoples lives as well as my own. But that doesn't mean I don't miss it! I used to have a 69 chevy pickup, shortbox, stepside, 283 four barrel, dual eXhaust, bucket seats , 6X9 triaxials in the doors and a kik ass stereo! I drove 40 miles one-way to work each day and loved it because I could just relax and start my day out with the wind in my hair & my tunes crankin! I had those 2 hours each day to myself and it was great! Later I had a smaller pickup with a topper on it and I'd camp out in it...sometimes on a work night I'd just skip goin the 40 miles and head to the local park/campground or find a cool place out in the country by a lake & fish and jam & get into nature! When I got tired I'd tip back in the topper, turn on the radio & doze off! Come morning, I'd hit the nearest park & grabba shower, gobble a burger & head to work! Yup, I miss that!!!!! I guess I'm feelin kinda bummed tonight...reminiscin and wishin....Which makes me think about Heaven...in Heaven there will be NO sickness or misery! So...I know I gotta work harder at gettin meself in order cuz I don't wanna miss out on the opportunity to know life as a healthy person...I dream about it and yearn for it....Nitey nite!!!